chickens lay eggs.

Martha corrected my grammar at work. Man, that is an irritating habit. I know, because I used to do it. Then I realized what an irritating habit it was when people stopped hanging out with me, and they never ever said "Thank you for correcting me, Sandra." Now I only do it to my very close friends, those who are privileged to know the real Sandra with all her irritating habits.

But anyway, apparently no one ever told Martha that correcting the grammar of others was an irritating habit. Actually, it's more likely that many people have told her, but they probably said it with an incorrect sentence structure, and then she just corrected them again. As for me, I was more embarrassed than annoyed. I was busted.

Martha asked about my weekend plans. I said, "I'm going to lay around all weekend." Martha sighed, as if my words had bitterly hurt her. I thought maybe she was going to make a comment on my wild and young single girl lifestyle. I was preparing myself for that, since I'd had a rough week and hadn't been sleeping much. But no, she said, "Chickens lay eggs."

Oh.

So I said then, quite feebly, "I'm going to lie around all weekend." I briefly considered saying, "Thank you for correcting me, Martha," but that would have only encouraged what others see as an irritating habit. I did appreciate it, in a very weird way. See, I knew there was a lie vs. lay issue, but I'd never figured it out. Now I had a little saying that I could use in my daily conversation that would save me from looking like an idiot. And if I'm talking to people who don't know the difference, well then I can just feel superior. I will resist the urge to use it except on my ever decreasing batch of very close friends. So, thank you, Martha, thank you for correcting me.