shut up and stop being such a big baby.

I've run across a lot of ways to tell someone to shut up and stop being such a big baby. Most of them are not very interesting, as they do not stray far from the original theme of "Shut up and stop being such a big baby." But some of them are good, in that they effectively get across the point that the other person is being whiny while being a little more original.

Thing 1: Things are tough all over.
The original, as it it my mother's. She used it liberally while us kids were growing up, answering with it whenever we would complain about all the trivial woes in our lives. Yes, you're hungry, yes, you are bored, and oh dear Lord, you're tired, too? Things are tough all over. The phrase brings a funny image to my mind, maybe something from World War II, where a soldier is listing the ways in which they are losing lives and ground. Then he adds, "And...I've got a hangnail!" His superior answers him with a sigh, "Things are tough all over." More than one person has been shocked at my mother's use of sarcasm to her small children. Dr. Spock said we shouldn't spank because it would twist developing minds. He would probably say that mothers should not answer their children with facetiousness for the same reason. It did twist our developing minds: now we're all sarcastic, too. For the record, we were spanked, too. Things were tough all over.

Thing 2: What does not kill us makes us stronger.
This one is mine, though my use of it has caused Mama to latch onto it sometimes. I suppose that's only fair, as I've been known to tell someone that things were tough all over. The phrase is one that came from somewhere, some inspirational poster meant to encourage kids in boot camp or something. It sounds harsher to me than other similar phrases I've heard and is frequently met with irritation. Maybe it's the mocking way in which I say it. Maybe I should work on my people skills.

What this and the previous one do is to put things in perspective, which I like about them. They not only tell you to shut up and stop being such a big baby, they tell you that your problems are infinitesimally itty-bitty and that there are a lot worse things going on out there, like when you're whining about your new botched haircut and then you run into a guy going through chemo. One of the reasons I started using the "What does not kill us makes us stronger" line (aside from the fact that I think that it's a stupid phrase when used in seriousness, and I wanted to mock the line itself) was the way it so brutally put the situation in perspective. It essentially dismisses all things which do not run the risk of making you drop dead. "Yeah, your hair does look stupid, but are you dying? No? Quitcher bitchin'."

Thing 3: Pobrecita.
Josh had a high school science teacher that gave him this one, which is spanish for "poor girl." Kids would come in and give long excuses about why they didn't have their homework because they had football practice or a date or knitting class. The teacher would listen nicely, cluck sympathetically and say "Pobrecita," before taking up the homework anyway. I like this one because it gives the illusion of sympathy before you realize that the person is making fun of you. Josh and I use this one on each other, although he has taken to telling me that things were tough all over, too. He's also used this one genuinely, too, when I was sick once, and it was sweet, like when my mother says "poor, sweet baby" when I've called her up, sick, all grown up, and wanting my mommy. At least, I think Josh was using it genuinely. Maybe he was just telling me to shut up and stop being such a big baby.