moody.

Josh and I were having an argument. We do that sometimes to break up the monotony of being a couple of overgrown teenagers completely enamored of each other. Oh, it was nothing too serious, just a few back-and-forths, when Josh retorted to one of my arguments with, "Yeah, but you're moody."

Whoa. Okay, fine, argument over. I guess he won because I didn't say anything after that, but he had himself an icicle of a girlfriend. Several long, cold minutes later, after I'd thawed a bit, I decided to tell him why I was mad. He could tell that I was, but the reason seemed to be eluding him. Once I reminded him of the obvious blunder so we could go back to that enamored teenager thing, he laughed and said, "Oh, man, I'm sorry. That was stupid."

Yes, that was stupid. And yes, this is another PMS entry.

Look, no one is more annoyed that I suffer from PMS than myself. You might think you are, particularly after I've started crying, but trust me, I'm fuming inside. It's just hidden under all those other feelings that are bombarding me simultaneously. I hate it, hate it, hate it. I hate the way I become a human faucet, running hot and then cold, but mostly just wet. I hate the completely irrational feelings that I can prove to myself are illogical, but cannot stop feeling. I hate the fact that knowing I'm just a victim to hormones does nothing to help me stop being that way. I hate doubting myself. I hate feeling like everything I'm doing is a waste of time, give up now, abandon hope all ye who enter here.

But the thing that I hate the most...I hate that I am susceptible. I hate being seen as one of those whiny women who think they can be as obnoxious and as bitchy as they want to because of "feminine problems." I hate having no excuse for my uncalled-for behavior but a phantom condition associated with XX-based hysteria (and yes, I know the etymology of that word, I use it intentionally and bitterly). It makes me hate myself as a woman as only the most misogynist people can.

Enough. You'll just have to excuse me, I'm moody.