no smiling.

Now that I've vaguely mentioned some sort of horrific accident twice without actually telling you anything, I'll clue you in. Josh had a wreck on his bicycle. He doesn't remember what happened, because he hit his head. He also scraped the skin off of much of the left side of his face. However, there were no broken bones and the CT scan came back clear. He continues to be the luckiest person I have ever met, and I am beginning to suspect that he is stealing from someone else's luck stores. It better not be mine. But now that we've covered what happened to him, let's talk about how it's affecting me.

The thing that has made the most difference in my life has been his busted lip. There are stitches in his mustache zone and stitches inside his upper lip. A bunch of the skin was also scraped off like ice on a windshield. Aside from being a bit funny looking - the upper lip scab looks a bit like a Hitler mustache - it limits his facial movements. He can't eat anything that requires him to bite into it. So there's been a lot of soup, as well as stuff that can be picked up with a fork and then dropped into the back of his mouth. And the one straw that I own has gotten more use in the last few days than it ever has before.

He can't kiss. I'm also limited as to where I can kiss him. The whole left side of his face has been pretty much off-limits. I mean, there are safe spots, but every time I lean in to give him a peck on that side, he winces and waits for the pain. I don't think he trusts my ability to not hit one of the danger areas. Since I don't particularly like to kiss people who are making pained expressions, I just avoid that side completely. I can kiss him on the lower lip if I'm very, very careful, but mostly I'm sticking to his right cheek. Sometimes, he leans over to kiss me, then remembers halfway there and turns his head sharply. Then he looks a little heartbroken all over again. I feel bad for him, but at the same time, I am touched that the withholding of such a simple thing as a little kiss from me makes him so sad. I am a terribly selfish person.

So the eating limitations are affecting my diet, and I haven't been kissed in almost a week. But the thing that's really starting to get to me is that he can't smile. My brother used to play a game where he would fake scold me in a very silly, very stern voice, telling me that I was not allowed to smile. Josh has been playing the No Smiling Game for days now, and he is good at it. But it's getting me down. Have you ever spent time with someone who never smiles? Geez, dude, lighten up! You know, he hasn't laughed at one of my jokes in nearly a week, and I'm coming to realize that a great deal of my self-esteem comes from that alone! I should probably consider diversifying my self-esteem sources.

Now you know more about the accident. I'm sure you're very relieved to hear that I'm fine, really. I mean, it's hard, what with all the soup I've had to eat and the fact that my confidence is falling with the stock market, but I really think that, with time, I'll be able to recover from this whole episode with only light scarring. Thank you for your concern. It really, really means a lot.