yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Now, I don't download music, because it's wrong, but if I did, this story would apply.

If I were the type to download music, I would use this particular program that allows me to browse the shared files of other users. I could click on a user name and then just go on a mini shopping spree thru their mp3s.

Regardless of my position on downloading music, I am proud of my legitimately obtained mp3 collection. I am always on the lookout for new music, new bands that I can enjoy and then gloat because the likes of you have never heard of them. That's what I do. I frequent indie music websites that let me in on the new greatest band that no one knows and then listen to the albums myself to decide whether they are worthy of a spot in my permanent collection and listening rotation or whether no one has heard of the band for a very good reason.

And I'm very proud of all this. I'm very proud of my own perceived hip-ness, and if I were the mp3-sharing type, I would peruse the files of others with the attitude that mine were better, and whoever it was whose files I was examining should actually be examining mine.

But it would happen more often than I would care to admit that I would come across a collection of someone else that would put me to shame in terms of bands so good that no one knows they exist. A collection of fifty to a hundred or more bands, and maybe I would have heard of two of them, and even those I would probably just have heard of them, but not actually listened to them.

And then I would be shamed and humbled, and renew my energy to read the indie music websites in their entirety until I know every great band ever. And then some poor sap would look through my collection and be ashamed that they are not nearly as cool as I am.

But since I don't pirate music, it's all really a moot point.