down with the letter 'i!'

I was thinking about Colyn today. No, that's a lie, and with a little html trickery, I could make it a bold-faced lie. I was thinking about Colyn a couple of days ago, but if I hadn't told you, you'd never be the wiser.

So anyway, Colyn's real name was Colin, but he changed it because 'y' is a much more rebellious and hip letter, I suppose. It was a trendy thing to do then. Down with the letter 'i!' I suppose it was nothing personal, just that the i-to-y change was the only one that could be made without changing the pronunciation of your name. Colyn was betrayed by the monogram on his L.L. Bean bookbag, where he had taken the trouble of unstitching the 'i' and writing 'y' in magic marker, but you could still see that stubborn lowercase 'i.' I think I even jokingly complained one day that I could not change my name because I have not even one letter 'i.' Colyn told me that I could just add an 's' or five to the front, and called me SSSSSandra from that day forward. I hated that.

Colyn was a fish ponder, one of a group of oddballs that hung around this fish pond that had no actual fish, but looked like it should. There were female fish ponders, and I think Colyn had a list of them somewhere where he would mark the girls off as he hit on them and was subsequently rejected. I could tell the day it was my turn, because he gave me extra attention, and at one point, he pat me on the head. I doubt I made too much of an effort to hide my grimace. Colyn was not the most hygienic person.

Somehow, Colyn got lucky one day, when he dared to hit on Joie. With long flowing hair and adorable freckles, Joie was a gorgeous and incredibly annoying trumpet player who made a lot of pirate noises around people who weren't in on the pirate noise joke. The only reason I can figure that Joie ever looked twice at Colyn was that she was trying to rebel herself. She didn't change a letter in her name, rather she re-invented herself as French and dated a weird angry guy. The first day, she introduced herself to me, and her name sounded like "Joey". The second day, she was suddenly someone else, a pronounciation I won't even try to reproduce here.

I can only assume Joie had ulterior motives for liking Colyn because I suppose I can't imagine someone like her actually, you know, liking him. I figure she just wanted to be someone else for a while and a summer away from home really is the perfect time for that kind of personal experimentation.

But while Colyn and Joie made out, thoroughly disgusting everyone else, another girl watched with envy. That would be Amber. She was a little strange, but the weirdest thing I ever saw her do was absolutely worship Colyn. She followed him around, did all these little favors for him, and was completely ignored in return.

I remember the day Colyn went into a rage, something about getting coffee for someone and then the someone didn't even stick around to receive said coffee. He overreacted. He yelled and screamed, ripped off his headphones and slammed his Discman to the ground in a symbolic gesture of his pain. I think the Discman turned out to be okay, but the impact of the slam broke the Tool CD inside. He picked up the Discman, threw the pieces of the CD down, and stomped off in righteous indignation.

The next day, that Tool CD was reincarnated as something else entirely. Amber had taken it, and using only a lighter and her love and inspiration, had created art. The CD was now a little statue, with the biggest piece being the base, and the rest kind of sticking up together like the teepee of a Native American who has had too much peyote. It really was pretty cool, if odd, and she gave it to Colyn like a little kid gives a homemade card to a Dad. Colyn kind of looked at it, and then just set it down. When he walked away later, he didn't carry it with him. It sat at the fish pond for the rest of the day. I don't know who finally picked it up.

I really don't know that Amber actually ever wanted to be with Colyn in a romantic relationship. I think she just wanted to be his friend. Whatever she wanted, she didn't get it, unless by chance she wanted his completely indifference.

But that's just what I was thinking about, today or a few days ago or whenever. I don't think about him too much, though the recollection of him calling me "SSSSSandra" and patting my head still gives me chills. I wonder what he's doing now, if he still hates God and his parents and people who don't stick around for their coffee. Whatever he's up to, I wish him luck, because he got on my nerves, but I certainly didn't hate him.

Unless he's reading this journal. I wish him no luck in that department. Otherwise, I am screwed.