murphy's law.

Murphy's Law states that a watched pot never boils. I think this law can be applied to a Federal Express truck. A watched FedEx truck never boils, and a watched-for FedEx truck never comes.

I've watched for the FedEx man for three days now. That's right, I looked for it on Sunday, too. Logic told me that the order wouldn't come before today at the very earliest, but that didn't stop me from having the hope that I would be dazzled by the combined shipping efficiency of FedEx and L. L. Bean.

Murphy's Law has nothing to do with that sitcom starring Candice Bergen, as my friend Mike thought, and everything to do with screwing people over. Murphy's Law is against me, because Murphy's Law is meant to be against us all, whether we are waiting for the pretty new navy bookbag with taupe and black trim we ordered with monogramming (add $5), looking for our lost keys, or waiting for a FedEx truck to boil. It's ole Murphy's fault that you start your period in the class where you have a male teacher on the day you wear a skirt. Murphy made you drop red wine on your favorite white shirt, and Murphy made that shirt dry-clean only in the first place.

But I am onto Murphy and his stupid laws. I am most definitely watching for the FedEx truck and the lovely new monogrammed bookbag with extra pockets and reflective fabric it carries. But I am doing it in a t-shirt and panties and the curtains pulled open, and Murphy's Law states that the package will be delievered because of this, and probably by a man. I only need put on some green facial cream to make him a very attractive man. But I don't care, because he'll give me the package before he runs away screaming, and I'll never seem him again anyway.

Take that, Murphy.