no, not really.

The idea of "going out" is very important to the girls I work with. This idea is not to be confused with that of "coming out," which is important to an entirely different group of people.

"Going out" means to leave from one's home at a late hour and consume alcohol at a bar or party. It is almost a nightly occurrence for these people, even on (gasp!) school nights.

The first week that I worked there, one of them asked if I went out a lot. You all know the true answer, just as I know it, but I didn't want to seem anti-social on my first week. Let them figure that out during the second or third week. So I started saying, "Well, you know, every once in a while," but I realized that answer was ridiculous and switched to "No, not really." I can think of maybe four or five times in the past year where I went out, which might seem to you as a "Well, you know, every once in a while," but at the rate that these people go out, it's really more of a "No, not really."

The process of them going out begins hours before they actually do go out. They have to determine who they are going out with, where they are going, and sometimes even what they will wear. You can count on someone asking the question "Are you going out tonight?" near the beginning of every shift, where you or I might ask things like "How was that test today?" or "I love your brightly-colored, food-related tie! Where did you get it?" That answer to the question of going out is never "Yes, definitely, I want to get hammered tonight." Sometimes, it's a definite "No" because the person has an early appointment the next day or perhaps a previous engagement. But more often, it's a "Maybe" or a "I don't know yet" or some other wishy-washy answer that I have come to interpret as meaning "Yes, of course, but I don't want to commit for reasons that are unclear to that weird girl stting there listening to us. You know, that one that never goes out."

This sitting on the fence usually lasts all evening, with discussion of parties or bars or other places to out to in between. Finally, one person leaves for the evening, and they all promise to call each other later with their plans for the night. What happens after that, I don't really know, because, well, they don't call me. Sometimes I hear about it the next day, and it seems to be pretty typical college students with alcohol behavior.

The whole thing amuses me. I laughed out loud at them one night when one girl ask for what had to have been the third time in half an hour if another was going out. It had been a long evening and I had felt that enough comraderie had built between us that we could laugh at each other. Apparently, I misjudged.

I'm speaking with a holier-than-thou attitude here, and any one of the going out crowd that read this would probably say something along the lines of, "Yeah, well, she's just jealous because she's a pathetic loser who doesn't have any friends and just goes home after work to do something lame like read or do homework or look on the internet before going to bed around midnight."

And they'd be right. I would not want to go out as often as they do. I would not want to be a part of this nightly "Are you going out?" dance. I would not want to get trashed in town when I know it's a long, curvy drive back home. But it would be nice to be asked. Because sometimes, I would like to go out and have a drink with friends. Maybe I would like to upgrade my "No, not really" to more of a "Well, you know, every once in a while." Is that so much to ask?

No, not really.