not a problem.

"You have an eavesdropping problem." I hear this comment, rather than overhear it, because it was directed at me. We're sitting at a table of strangers and I've been very engaged in the conversation between the bachelor and his mother who sit across from us. I realize that Josh hasn't been listening to those people at all, and the only reason he knows that I have is because of the loaded smirks that I give him from time to time.

An eavesdropping problem? Me? No, I do not have an eavesdropping problem. I eavesdrop a lot, but I've never considered it a problem. I suppose there are people who might, but I would know about it, because I would hear them talking about it. I don't squat at keyholes, nor do I carry around a glass for holding against thin walls. I eavesdrop when there is no barrier but air between my ear and the oblivious mouth. I almost consider it my right to overhear people if they are careless enough to talk in my presence. Don't want other people to hear you? Don't talk so loud. Friends constantly accuse me of speaking too loudly, loud enough that other people will hear. I shrug them off. I think I've got my volume under control, thank you very much, I spent years of school making sarcastic comments that teachers never detected. So I think my voice levels are fine, and even if they're not, well, who cares? Who is going to hear me but some other girl who is easily amused and knows that strangers are funny. Go ahead, listen to me! I am funny!

Am I violating privacy, even when the privacy is not being used? I don't think so. If people are having sex in the middle of the street, would it be wrong to look? I like to think that I'm subtle enough to listen without letting on that I'm doing so, so what is the harm? And even if they do find me out, maybe they'll speak a little more softly next time if they're so worried about their private conversations.

So, in conclusion, I do not have an eavesdropping problem. Yes, I'm a frequent eavesdropper, but it's not a problem, not for me, anyway. Maybe you think it's a problem for you that I do it, but just wait until I tell you what this dude was saying to his mom. You'll be glad I heard.