post-tax.

Totally unrelated question: since you are a former waitress, I thought you could answer this for me. Should a tip be calculated from the pre-tax amount, or the full billed amount? I've always done it from the full amount, but my dad says it should be from the pre-tax amount.
-Doug, Sandra's brother-in-law

People ask me tipping questions quite a bit. It gets old, usually because I tell them to tip more than what they want to hear. Then again, even if I hate being asked, you can bet I'm looking over your shoulder to see how well you do it. It surprises me to see how many people still don't know how to tip. I had a girlfriend tip $2 no matter what the total bill. It made me want to cry. I tried to teach her the easy math of taking 10% and then halfing it again to add to the original 10%, but she waved me off, "I just put down two dollars." Maybe I should've warned her not to frequent the same places, otherwise she'd start getting her drinks spat in.

I'm sorry, but you have to tip the waiter. Servers make about $2 an hour, so they really do just live on tips. That is unfortunate that the industry is set up so that customers have to support wait staff. I agree totally. Write to your congressman, but in the mean time, you still have to tip.

My rule is about 20%. Pick your own rule, depending on how you feel about it all, but please don't make your rule less than 15%. Then, depending on the service, the food, and the restaurant, go up or down. I've given as much as 50% (on a very low-total check, sure) and my lowest was about 5% (wretched service). Note that nicer places call for higher percentages. You might use a 15% base at a Waffle House and a 20% base at someplace fancy.

I'm sorry that there isn't really a definite rule. There are, but I don't like them. I think they were made by people who never waited tables. For instance, there is the old double-the-tax rule. I think it might be from a former generation, but it doesn't seem to apply anymore. North Carolina sales tax is 7%, so that rule yields a 14% tip every time. Not enough. You might say that 14% is close enough to 15%, which remains an acceptable rule in many cases, but I say no. I always err on the side of the server. These people are relying on strangers for their living and you can afford to eat out - give up the few cents.

And that brings me back to my brother-in-law's question. I'd never heard of such a thing as tipping pre-tax. Again, my answer here goes back to whether 14% was close enough to 15%. How you do it is only going to make the difference of a few cents, and chances are good that the server makes less than you do. So be a nice guy and calculate your tip post-tax. Which brings up another, very important issue: if you have a coupon, always always tip on the amount before the coupon. The server did the same amount of work regardless of your coupon and should be tipped accordingly.

All that being said, I still think that crappy service deserves a crappy tip. There are things that a server cannot control: food quality, atmosphere of the restaurant, crying babies next to your table, (sometimes) food preparation time. But the server can keep your drink filled, be pleasant, make every effort to make you feel better about the things he/she can't control. If your server left you hanging with an empty water glass for ten minutes and was surly, then by all means, leave a poor tip. Yes, I am sympathetic to servers, because I used to be there. But when I was there, I actually tried to treat my customers well, and I've no sympathy for those who do not.

So there's your answer. Happy tipping.