ignited.

When I was in high school, I had not yet given in to purses. Most of the other girls my age carried around purses in addition to their bookbags, but to me, it just seemed like extra baggage. Then I turned sixteen, and I suddenly had to carry around a license and some keys all the time. My sister bought me a wallet with a keyring attachment for my birthday. I kept it in my back pocket, the keys dangling out. It was a good system for me, bursting with femininity though I am. Matt, a boy in my math class warned me that having a heavy keychain could damage my ignition. I thought that sounded idiotic and told him so. He swore up and down that it was true, even asking my math teacher for verification. She gave him much the same expression that I had, and the issue seemed closed. Still, I've always wondered, because I'm clueless when it comes to my car.

It's a well-documented fact that car maintenance makes me nervous. I like things that I can control and that I can fix on my own. My car is neither of those things. In fact, I am a car hypochondriac. Every little noise I hear or jiggle I feel creates instant stress for me. I'm sure that my car is immediately about to fall into a billion pieces on the highway, while I sit confused in the seat, holding the detached steering wheel. Strangely enough, this has never happened, though I think I saw it in a cartoon once.

For the past year and a half or so, my ignition has been acting finicky. I could get the key in, but it wouldn't turn. I'd have to give a few tries before it finally went all the way and the car started normally. The problem would get worse and worse, with me having to give the key more and more of the old college try before all systems were go. I would get a new key made, and the problem would go away. A key could last me about six months. Since keys are only about a buck apiece, I accepted this solution as being a nuisance, but one of the quirks of an older car. Deep, cleansing breaths, I was able to return to calm.

Until maybe a month ago. The new key trick stopped working. I've bought about eight new keys recently, including going to the dealership and creating a brand new one from the VIN number. Still, I sit in my car for a few minutes every time I want to start it, turning the key, pulling it out, looking at it, flipping it over, trying again. This whole routine is dotted with me pleading with my car, please, honey, just start. I have three keys to the same car on my keyring, just in case it helps. I'm not sure that it does, but it makes me feel better.

The most irritating thing about this problem is that it seems to defy logic. I feel positively moronic trying to describe it. The car won't start? No, it will start, but I can't get the key to turn. Yes, I'm turning it the right direction. No, I do not have really weak arms. Because of this fact, I've been very resistant to trying to get it fixed.

In the past month, I've slowly given in to defeat. The new key trick, once so effective and sneaky and cheap, was failing me and I began to face the fact that I was going to have to get real maintenance done. Each car trip begins with a few minutes of me sitting in the driver's seat, trying over and over, my shoulders slowly drooping more and more. One day, I gave myself blisters on my finger trying to turn the key to leave work, increasingly frustrated and near tears. Then, this past weekend, I tried to go yard saling, but found myself sitting in front of houses of strangers, unable to start my car. I gave up after three houses and lost a whole Saturday of yard sales to this stupid problem. It was time for action. I inquired at the dealership what fixing the issue for good might entail. He recommended a new ignition cylinder. I asked if this was a common problem, to which he replied that it happened on high mileage cars. Then he mentioned that if I had a heavy keychain, that could exacerbate the problem.

I'm sorry, Matt. You were right.