I have always been a saver. I've had a savings account since I was about nine, and since then any money that I came across went straight into the bank. That's not to say that I don't spend, too. Obviously, I do. But I've always earned more than I spent, even without being particularly careful about it. I live pretty cheaply because I like to buy used and cook my own food. I splurge sometimes, but I don't worry about that, either, because I've saved enough that I can afford to do that. My savings has been a nice cushion, the pillowtop on the mattress of my life. It wasn't necessary, but it helped me sleep better at night.
I've pretty much been saving my money for nothing. Well, I've been saving it with no particular goal in mind. If you asked me what I was saving up for, I probably would have said, "The future" (unless you asked me when I was about eleven, when I would have said "A jukebox!"). I really had no ideas more concrete than that. About a year ago, I looked at my bank balances and started thinking about investing it in something. Having the money in the bank felt about one step up from it being actually in my mattress. Sure, I made interest off of it, but that didn't feel like much.
I asked my mom about investing, and she recommended Dave Ramsey and his Endorsed Local Providers. These are regular brokers and financial dudes that have passed some sort of application process and received the Dave Ramsey seal of approval. So I filled out the online form to be put in contact with my Endorsed Local Provider. A week later, I received a survey from Dave Ramsey's group, asking if I had been satisfied with my ELP. I irritably replied that I had received no further contact from the guy, despite even sending an email in addition to the one generated by the web site.
After being kinda left in the lurch over investing, I forgot about the idea for a while. Maybe it seemed like a bad omen, when I was already a little hesitant about using my precious savings. It was only last week that I realized that had I invested my money over the summer, I would have lost most of it in the fall. Perhaps I should write Dave Ramsey and tell him to thank that dude for being so negligent.
Though I had shelved the investing idea, I did start thinking about a house. I've been renting since my sophomore year of college, and I'd started to hate writing those checks every month. I realize that it's a necessary evil when you're not sure how long you're going to be in a place. I liked the freedom it gave me, knowing that if I needed to move suddenly, I could just pack up and do it. I'm not sure why I liked that idea, because frankly, that sort of spontaneity just isn't in me. But I've been living in Raleigh for almost two years now, and I love my job. It's an incredible market for buyers and mortgage rates are deliciously low. So maybe it's time for a house. Turns out I'd been saving for a house all those years, and I didn't even know it. Maybe I could get one with room for a jukebox.
Once I spend all my money on the down payment (how irritating to spend your life savings and still owe more), I wonder if I will feel insecure without my green cushion. Okay, I'm not spending every single penny of it, but I am spending enough of it that I'm thinking more about how much I spend on groceries these days. My new, much smaller cushion is not so much for dinners out as for the eventuality that my car will die on me. So far, my impression of budgeting is that it kinda sucks.
But once I get the house, I hope to feel that all that saving paid off. I've been saving for the sake of saving for so long, it might be nice to see that there is a point to it. And I'll be writing a check to go into the house every month instead of to my landlord's pocket. It'll be an investment, a piggy bank big enough to live in. My savings will be in my walls, my floors, and my roof, not just my mattress. It's a brand new era of saving in my life.
And once the house is paid off, I may just get that jukebox.
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