problem creators and solvers.

With the wedding over, I do not have an obvious creative outlet. No more can I spend my time folding silly little paper flowers and saying that it's worth it because I'm saving a ton of money by using Rand McNally as my florist. I'm pretty proud of myself for how the decorations turned out, and it makes me happy to think about all the guests who have used hymnals folded into pinwheels sitting in their homes right now (maybe in their trash, but technically, that is still in the home). I was actually sort of amazed at myself. I've always done some writing, which is its own kind of creation, but making tangible things is pretty new. And here I went and made a whole lot of things. I made so many things that I was freaking sick of them.

I've always been very drawn to creative people and am consequently very aware of my not being one of them. Sure, we're all creative, blah blah blah, but there are some people who walk down the street, trip and fall and some art comes out their nose or something. They can't not create. I don't wish I was like that, because I have very high self-esteem. I want to be around it, enjoy it, be influenced by it, and in Josh's case, make out with it, but I know who I am. I also know that people like me are necessary, because if the world were all artists, nothing would ever get done, because no one would have invented a standard system to measure time.

I've come to think of creativity as problem solving. That is probably not a good definition, but it's the kind of definition that works for people like me. It works great in programming, because the life of a coder involves being given problems to solve. My problem was that I needed flowers for the wedding and I didn't want to pay for them. Solution: make them out of old books.

But now my floral problem has been solved, and I'm all out of problems. Then I read a quote by Chuck Close, who most definitely would not have come up with a standardized time system but was definitely the type of person I would want to hang around. He said that art was problem creation. And that made sense to me, maybe because I was already halfway there. I'm good at recognizing a problem and coming up with a creative solution. But to be an Artist, you have to make up the problems for yourself to solve.

I have to say, that idea resonates with me. Particularly when Josh tells me about his great new idea (problem creation), and I have to explain to him all the many ways in which it is completely impractical, thoroughly unnecessary, exorbitantly expensive, and, a lot of times, really pretty stupid (problem solving). Then we snuggle. And sometimes his ideas are only slightly impractical, next to free, and they end up being kinda fun and cool. They are still generally unnecessary, but that's art. Art is technically unnecessary. You don't need it to live, it just makes life worth living.

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