Thing 1: Chicken nuggets button
A friend of mine is in the market for a new oven, and she encountered one at the store which listed among its features a "Chicken Nuggets" button. She saw this as a sign of the country's decline. For me, this raises all kinds of questions, such as: Who came up with this? Do people use it? Just how many chicken nuggets are we eating as a nation? Does it work for all nugget brands, or is there some kind of corporate sponsorship, such that it works great for Tyson chicken nuggets, but the Purdue ones come out burnt?

I try not to point to specific things and call it a sign of the end times, but I have to agree that a "Chicken Nuggets" button is pretty much awful. Apparently, it is equivalent to setting the oven to 350 degrees. As it happens, that is the default baking temperature for my oven, so technically, I already have a chicken nuggets button. It's just labelled differently. It says "BAKE."

Thing 2: Just what else is in there?
Josh and I were talking about scanning some pictures. We have a printer/copier/scanner, a really nice one, in fact. However, since the ink ran out, the scanner hasn't worked, which is infuriating. That right there is the kind of big company logic that leads to a "Chicken Nuggets" button.

Anyway, in the midst of my angry tirade at Hewlett Packard, Trevor broke in and said, "I have a scanner in my car."

"WHAT?" I asked, far too loud. Remember, I was in the midst of a tirade, and also, since Trev had already fished a spare microwave out of his car, finding out that there was also a printer/copier/scanner in there was just too much.

"Yeah. They were throwing it out at work. I'll go get it." He left to go to out to what looks like a regular old Nissan Pathfinder, but which is apparently some kind of magical Nissan Pathfinder. I'm tempted to see what else I can say that we need around here to find out if there is already one sitting in our driveway. Does it only work for items that we already have, but are broken? Or can I ask for anything? Does Trevor need to be here, or can I just go outside and yell "PET LLAMA" at the car? Nissan should really start advertising this particular feature.

Thing 3: Super cute
I didn't have a third thing, but if you were wondering, my dog is still cute.

No comments: