1.12.2005

dance like no one's watching.

I can deal with solitude. True, I need my regular dose of social contact, but it does not take much for me to overdose. Then just leave me alone. I have no problem with my own company even if public opinion seems to say that it sucks.

That being said, I do get lonely from time to time. It doesn't happen much, and usually I can just give somebody a call and ask if they want to hang out. I am fortunate to be blessed with many people who are just fine being my friends of convenience. They don't take it too personally.

But now I've gone and ruined all that by moving to a city where I don't know anyone. Suddenly, being a friend of convenience to someone an hour and a half away isn't so convenient anymore. So I turn to my other friends: books.

I read a lot when I'm lonely. And by a lot, I mean Oh-Dear-Lord-How-Does-A-Body-Intake-That-Much-Literature. When I consume words, they really consume me. Most books to me are the kind that I can't put down. Luckily, I read fast, so I only lose like six hours of my life with every book. Today, I read a book. And the day before yesterday, I read a book. Now, I need to unpack some more so I can find a book to read tomorrow.

As far as I can tell, I started doing this the summer before my senior year of high school. I went to Governor's School that summer, and I didn't know anybody then either. And though I was perfectly happy reading, I didn't want to do that the whole summer. So I made sure and positioned my reading spots in places where people would hang out. I also tried to read interesting books, so that these same people would think that I was interesting. I read three books that first week, checked out from the Old Salem library (which is not very extensive), and I read them out by the fish pond. By the beginning of the second week, I had become a part of the fish pond crowd, and I didn't read another book the whole summer.

Last night, I stopped at the Lewisville branch of the Forsyth County Public Library and applied for a library card. I'm very excited. The Lewisville branch is smaller than my apartment, but I can order anything from any of the eight other branches via the website and have it sent to the tiny one a block from my house for convenient pick-up. The only possible way that idea could be improved is if they were to actually bring it to my door with a complimentary cup of Earl Grey.

I even thought about joining the book club that meets at the Lewisville library, but I'm afraid I'd walk into a room of middle-aged housewives for an hour long discourse on a Nicholas Sparks novel. Here there is no fish pond for me to go read by, though there is a park where old men go to power-walk. Somehow, that's not quite the same.

The point here is not that I am lonely; I've only been here five days. The point is that I wish I read more. I enjoy reading when I do it, and even if I feel like the book wasn't that great as a whole, I can usually glean something from everything I read. So now I add one to that old phrase: Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one's watching, and read like you've just moved to a new town where you don't know anybody.

No comments: