5.12.2006

a big to-do.

I found a website that was basically a compilation of lists of things people wanted to do before they died. I made one of these lists once, back during my senior year of high school. I don't remember what was on my list, though I probably have it lying around somewhere. I'm pretty sure "milk a cow" was on there.

Anyway, the website is an interesting read, though a lot of the lists share the same items. Apparently, finding a soul mate is pretty high on everyone's to-do list. I picked out some of the more interesting ones that I found to share with you so that you don't have to peruse 100 lists to find the gems. Oh, what a good girl am I.

It's possible that I'm going to come off as a colossal bitch when I write this, because these lists are kind of personal, and I'm just one more random blogger offering my opinion. Who am I to critique someone's life goals? I want to milk a cow.

Pamela, 41, Ocean Springs, MS
- Color my hair
- Buy new furniture
- Get my dog groomed

See, I kinda think Pamela didn't understand the assignment, unless Pamela knows somehow that she is going to die today. That's a Wednesday list, right there. Or maybe Pamela is very depressed, and she just needs to take things one day at a time, by order of her therapist. On the opposite end, maybe Pamela is very happy and has accomplished all the major things she ever wanted to do, and really, being able to have a nicely-groomed dog, new furniture, and a kicky new hair color is just icing on the cake.

Pablo, 24, Carcass Cobh, Antartica
- Ride in a hot air balloon
- Save the North European Earth Worm
- Invent a cure for depression, epilepsy, diabeties, kidney failure, schizophrenia, brain damage and eating disorders
- Become good at something meaningful
- Own children

Such a weird list, though maybe that's what happens when you live in Antartica. Aside from the amusing phrasing of "own children" (perhaps to pull the sleigh around in the snow?), I like the fact that after he saves a species and cures all the diseases, he wants to really tuck in and do something meaningful. It makes me wonder what Pablo is good at now that he recognizes he's good at something, but it's not that cool. Maybe he's a computer programmer or something. By the way, is there really a place in Antartica named Carcass Cobh? Awesome.

Leo, 15, Wyoming
- Go to college
- Build an invention to benefit mankind
- Have kids (1 boy & 1 girl)
- Live till I'm at least 70 years old
- Visit all 50 states
- Make an animation for the internet
- Be thought of as someone's hero
- Go on all the roller coasters in Cedar Point
- See a natural phenomenon
- Buy a penguin
- Go to the Playboy Mansion
- Learn how to play poker
- Go to a baseball game with my dad

This one depresses me. A lot of these lists depress me. This one seems like your typical fifteen-year-old boy list, including the token reference to attractive, mostly-naked women. It's very ambitious, though a couple of them are easily do-able, and some of them are somewhat bizarre. But then you get to that last one, and you realize that visiting the Playboy Mansion and inventing something grand are at about the same rank as going to a baseball game with his dad. I wonder where his dad is, and why they're not going to any baseball games. Maybe he could get the Playboy bunnies to play baseball while he's visiting and thereby knock out two items at once.

Scott, 39, Dallas
- Run naked in a desert
- Visit all major Civil War battlefields
- See a game at all Major League ballparks
- Read all works by Shakespeare, Hemingway, and Ian Fleming
- See Liverpool play at Anfield
- Summit one of the world's top 20 highest peaks (probably #20)

Not a bad list for Scott, though the reason I noted it was because of the literature item. Aside from the idea that reading all of Shakespeare will take up all the time Scott probably has left, there is that very unlikely trio of Shakespeare, Hemingway, and...Ian Fleming. I like James Bond and all, but I would hardly put him up there with the Bard or Hemingway. I also wonder if reading all of Fleming includes one of his lesser-known triumphs, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

J, 19, Torrance, CA
- Start up my own (successful) clothing company
- Buy a Welsh Corgi and name him Ein
- Lose weight and keep it off
- Tour/live in Europe and Japan
- Live in Portland, OR (again)
- Get full sleeves (tattoos), a back piece, and a hip piece
- Have a smart baby that I've trained before birth to be trilingual
- Eat shark fin soup
- Visit Montreal
- Own a mansion with the following ameneties: Recording studio (for the bf), Design Studio, gi-normous bathroom, a front gate complete with 20' statues in the classical greek style of myself and my boyfriend (complete with gems for eyes), and a gaming room
- Obtain a position of influence

J did not submit a good list, and that's probably why she didn't submit her whole name. Some people seem to confuse the idea of the list with some other list, perhaps the list of things you would do if all laws of space and time were null just for you. The house idea is kinda hokey and unrealistic, and that trilingual fetus thing is downright ridiculous. I wonder what languages she's going to teach it (I assume French, English and Japanese, so she can take it to Japan and Montreal). I guess my idea of the list is different from people like her. Me, I would put things on my list that could possibly happen. Yes, I would like to birth a trilingual baby as well, but I'm going to stick to wanting to milk a cow. Suggestions like hers make me think that she just wasn't taking the idea seriously, that she was just someone who offhandedly answered it without sitting down and thinking what she really wanted. I guess I see this as an exercise for someone to figure out what they actually want to do with their time and then do those things. That's just me. I would also suggest that she clarify the position of influence item. You could say that a club bouncer is a position of influence.

Jenny, 33, San Jose, CA
- Design and make costumes for a children's theater
- Build a strawbale house
- Forgive my father being an alcoholic

Jenny made a good list. She wants to do interesting things (like the house), plus follow a dream (the theatre), as well as make amends with her past and her dad. I tend to like these short and realistic, but obviously meaningful lists.

Mo Mo, 33, Pennsylvania
- Divorce and find true love

De-pressing.

Lorna, 18, Stamford, Lincs, UK
- Complete my make-up course
- Be a well known make-up artist/Designer
- Be eco-friendly
- Go back in time and change things for better
- Have my own brand
- Watch my kids grow
- Fall down Angel Falls
- Travel round south east Asia
- Prove people wrong

Again, I don't like this list much because of the conflict with reality, but I am curious about the last one. It seems like people always save the last one for the best, like maybe that was the first one they thought of, but they didn't want to put it first and emphasize it because it's the most important one, but kind of secret. Anyway, I assume that it means that Lorna has had a lot of doubters in her life, and she just wants to show them that she's not a complete loser, that she can go back in time if she wants to. However, I like the idea that Lorna is just some sort of correctness freak, and maybe she wants to go around accosting people and conclusively proving them wrong about something, anything, even if it's their spelling.

Bethan, 25, Melbourne, Australia
- Have a collection of my photographs published in a book
- Live in New York
- Learn how to leave the perfect answering machine message

I saved this list for that last item alone, and all I can say is me too, Bethan, me too.

* To read more lists without the benefit of my delightful commentary, head here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Milk a cow? That's a Wednesday item, right there.