shag.

I remember being fourteen years old and at my friend Jessica's house with all our other friends. And I had to call my mom to stay later than I had initially planned, because we wanted to watch a movie. It was this movie that Ashley had told us all about, and that just seemed to be the way with her. She would come across movies or songs or TV shows that no one else in our group had ever heard of, and somehow, by the will of her personality, the movie or song or TV show became our next thing.

My mother predictably asked what the movie was rated. I had no idea, so I asked.

Oh, it's like PG, Ashley said.

I told my mother.

I got permission to stay late and watch the movie.

Man, that movie is like rated R, Ashley told me as soon as I got off the phone. My eyes widened. Had I lied to my mother? It was a severe moral dilemma for me to stay and watch the movie. I only hope that my fourteen year old daughter freaks out about watching a rated R movie.

Fourteen year old girls look for meaning in everything: no, really. That's why we obsessed over song lyrics and movie lines said by ordinary girls who end up with the captain of the football team and, like, the most popular guy in school. In every movie we watched, we assigned roles. Coming-of-age movies are not that creative in making their characters, as long as there's a pretty one, a funny one, a smart one, a dumb one, and maybe a slutty one, everyone is happy and all the good lines can be said. In limited cast movies, a couple of those roles can be combined into one person.

I found the movie that my mother allowed me to stay and watch under false pretense for a couple of bucks at Big Lots. Now I haven't seen this movie for ten years, but I had sorta fond memories, so I bought it and popped it in my VCR. Instantly, the ritual of role-assignment within our group came back to me. I did not remember the roles we had been assigned, but I could tell that the character Carson would have been Jessica, Pudge would have been my friend Laura, and I would definitely be the girl with the ridiculous glasses. I was hopeful for a while that maybe I might have scored the role of Pudge, who ended up with a nice boy and who won the dance contest, but no, I could tell that I would have been assigned the spectacles.

My character ended up with a rich boy who would inherit his father's tobacco company. My character's goal was to have the most organized and ladylike fun possible. My character was shocked and appalled when one friend flounced around in a bikini (this was set in the 50s) and even more so when another one had casual sex. I was comic relief, there only to provide a minor obstacle and the voice of traditional sense so that I could be rebelled against.

After I watched the movie, I put the tape in my pile bound for the thrift store. Truth be told - and here it comes - I disapproved of the movie. I am the girl in the glasses. I am in favor of organized and sensible fun. I remember being that voice of disapproval when my friends got a bit wild.

I guess that's typecasting.