all my friends are bad album covers, part 5.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

41. Mike Adkinds - Thank You For The Dove
Surprisingly enough, this is not a religious album at all. Mike Adkinds just received a pet dove from his wife for his birthday, and he really, really liked it. After this album, his wife made an album herself and called it "You're Welcome!" The Adkinds are kinda weird, but are very happy together.

42. Alla Pugatjova - Superman Every Night and Every Day
Unattractive people - check
Weird clothes - check
Bizarre setting - check
Strange and upsetting sexual undertones - check
Congratulations Ms Pugatjova, you have made a terrible album cover. Bonus points for the inexplicable presence of a go-kart.

43. The Best of the Singing Postman
I know it's the time you would expect,
but I just don't have your welfare check.
I'm just the singing postman,
It's not my fault.

I'm afraid you'll just have to wait,
so stop complaining about the unemployment rate.
I'm just the singing postman,
It's not my fault.

To avoid this financial thicket,
lay off the booze, resist the lottery ticket.
I'm just the singing postman,
It's not my fault.


44. Country Church
This one is just really all about the outfits. They are the very essence of this album cover's badness. In fact, they are actually confusing to me, because I just can't figure out what sort of look they were going for. The woman is wearing a costume she borrowed from the local high school after their production of Oklahoma!, and that's fine, but what are the men wearing? Checkered polyester pants, slate blue turtlenecks, and tank tops? Is that country? Which country is that?

45. Freddie Gage - All My Friends Are Dead
Congratulations, Mr. Gage, I can't think of a single funny thing to say about your stupid album cover because it's so completely depressing. I think I might quit blogging altogether and switch to just eating a lot of Edy's ice cream that isn't even on sale. Thanks a lot, Mr. Gage. I hope you're happy. No, wait, you're not, because all your friends are dead.

46. Happy Louie, Julgia, and The Boys - Lots of Love and Peace
The lettering on this album cover was done by Happy Louie's teenaged daughter, Happy Lynette. Block lettering is very important to teenaged girls, and being able to do it well is a coveted skill, sort of like long-distance spitting with boys. The lettering was supposed to be done in a nice, traditional polka font, but Happy Lynette convinced her father that he shouldn't be such a square. The results are for the ages.

47. Mike Terry Live at the Pavilion Theatre in Glasgow
From the days when Glasgow was trying to become the next Vegas, this was their answer to Liberace.

48. Moscow Nights - Popular Russian Hits
You know, if only we'd known that the Russians could be such a group of swinging hep cats, we wouldn't have had so much trouble. Who wants to have a Cold War when you can have a cold one with a lovely lady of Leningrad?

49. Foster Edwards' Orchestra - What's Next?
Indeed, what is next? This is a great idea, executed poorly. Elephants playing instruments - gold. Lame ballroom and dude in tuxedo - cheesy. Take the weird hats off the elephants, get rid of the guy, put the pachyderms in someone's garage and I think there's real potential for a great-looking album here. Also, fix the letters at the bottom so they don't look like those stickers you buy at Wal-Mart to put your last name on your mail box.

50. Ken by request only
You know, I would have expected Ned Flanders to make a gospel record, but I guess this is what he does under the clever pseudonym "Ken." I'm charmed about the "by request only" part, though I suspect that no one has ever requested a song from this man. He probably just called someone and asked them to name twelve songs off the top of their head.

And that's the end folks. Big sigh of relief, all together. Back to your regularly schedule not-blogging next week.