the redneck rotation system.

There is a phenomenon exclusive to small southern towns. You see it in the schools, starting as early as middle school, and running rampant in the high schools. It is known as the Redneck Rotation System.

You start with a group of female rednecks and a group of male rednecks. During the first couple of weeks of each new school year, they all match up. They fall in love, much deeper than ever before. They are seen walking down the halls hand in hand, and then cuddling right outside classrooms for those last minute sweet nothings before they are sadly apart for another grueling 90 minutes. After a couple of months, it is clear that they are indeed soul mates, 2gether 4ever. So, they get engaged. The guys walk around proudly, and the girls giggle over their half carat rings. Sometimes if the boys don't have jobs at the Food Lion yet, they buy them promise rings. (This means they are promised to get engaged, for those of you not familiar with this altogether redundant idea.) All is well in the house of love.

Then, somewhere, there is a loud voice, booming like an auctioneer into the loving high school halls.

"ROTATE!"

Suddenly, no one is engaged or promised, and everyone is with someone new. And the whole thing starts all over. Those not involved are completely mystified, how thoroughly everyone is now rearranged, and how her ring is now on some other girl's finger, but she has a bigger one now anyway. It's an amazing operation to behold. One can't help but wonder the great things that could be accomplished by people with such a culture as this.

But they chose to invent the promise ring instead.