a completely dirty entry.

Our music selection at work consists of five discs on a changer of CDs that we change every couple of months or so. The discs that we play are sold at the front for about sixteen bucks apiece. We play stuff that generally no one can dislike, but that some people really love. That Josh Groban guy? He sells CDs, even at sixteen bucks apiece.

Andrew is one of our servers, but also one of Joe's favorites. His opinion is taken seriously, and he was allowed to order some new CDs for play. He ordered a classical music disc, picking it out by the blurb and the title and the composer, Beethoven to be exact.

The CD arrived and revealed itself as having a parental advisory and a half-naked anime-esque couple on the front. Obviously, we could not sell this at the front, though the songs simply were plain old Beethoven. The blurb on the back was all about enhancing pleasure for both you and your partner.

The CD, called Bedroom Bliss to Beethoven, is one in a series of classical artist compilations sold with a semi-erotic theme called the Love Notes series. There are others, including Making out to Mozart and my favorite, Shacking up to Chopin.

The possibilities provided by sex, classical music, and alliteration amused us for the rest of the afternoon. This is how intellectuals make dirty jokes. Some possibilities for future Love Notes releases, as provided by the staff at Vintner's Restaurant and Wine Shoppe:

Copulating to Copland
Moaning to Mozart
Getting it On to Grieg
Making Whoopee to Mendelssohn

I found this article about the series and the mini-controversy surrounding it. It's a long article, don't read it. But look at the covers of these CDs and imagine me selling one to an old lady from Florida and telling her how much I hope she enjoys it. And here's a little snippet from the article about Bedroom Bliss to Beethoven:

The covers of the "Love Notes" series feature cartoons of nude or half-nude young couples, drawn in the exaggerated style of Japanese anime and depicted in flagrante delicto. Each also has a mock "parental advisory: sexual content" warnings on the covers. Or perhaps the warnings are intended to be genuine: the extravagantly unembarrassed marketing copy on the back begins, "Love Notes are erotic fantasies programmed to maximize your pleasure, from playful overtures to fulfilling consummation." Inside, the Beethoven program begins with the nascent Romanticism of the "Moonlight" Sonata and makes its way through Für Elise, the Fifth Symphony and other selections, before culminating, perhaps optimistically, with the "Ode to Joy" from the Ninth Symphony.

The whole thing amuses me to no end. I intend to think of these all week. Come up with a good one and I'll claim it as my own to my coworkers. And there truly is no greater honor than that.