one new call.

The other day I sang praises to my new credit card. Now I would like to gripe a bit.

This card is issued to me by Citibank. And like I said, I love this card and all the rewards that I get just by using it. But I'm not wild about Citibank, specifically their marketing. They have a lot of programs that can go with your card, stuff like identity protection and insurance and pet bunny rentals and I don't know what else. They like to call you up and tell you about these programs so that you can pay a monthly fee to receive those services. The fee is charged directly to your Citibank credit card, now isn't that convenient?

They call an awful lot. It seems like once a month they're offering to give me a free month of pet bunny rentals just for trying the service. And they always call at about 2 PM, when I am at work like a good little credit card holder. So I'll have "ONE NEW CALL" on my caller id every day for about a week until they wise up and call me at night. It's disappointing to see "ONE NEW CALL" and find out it's just a stranger trying to sell you crap.

I try to be nice to telemarketers. I let them talk without interrupting them or hanging up on them. Then I say that I'm not interested. I let them talk again from their script, then I say that I'm not interested again. Sometimes I even give them irrefutable evidence that shows that their service is not worth the money. But I am tired of this game, and I want to tell them to take me off their list. I suppose that is my right, but I'm stupidly scared that I won't be allowed to carry the card anymore if I ask them this. I know, that's ridiculous and probably just an excuse I'm using to avoid confrontation. I will eventually try it, because I am rapidly reaching the limit of my patience for these people.

Despite my annoyance with Citibank's marketing, I have to say that it's probably very effective. Yesterday afternoon, I looked in my mailbox and saw a check from Citibank. Surprise money and surprise mail are both good - surprise money in the surprise mail is the best thing ever. I was afraid, though, that I had been accidentally signed up for some service and this was my reward money "just for trying out" the pet bunny rentals. If the envelope had not been so thin, I might have checked it again for my first bunny. So I was all ready to have to call Citibank and cancel whatever service it was that I had somehow subscribed to, secretly hoping that they would let me keep the check because it was their mistake. But then I read the print on the check. By cashing the check, I would be enrolling myself in their identity monitoring service.

Absolutely brilliant.

Send me a check, make me hold it in my little money-grubbing hands, and then force me to not cash it. I am in awe of the marketing genius, despite the fact that I am completely annoyed by it, too. I sighed at the money I would not be getting, and then I tore up the check into tiny pieces - no way was I going to let someone steal my check and get my money while enrolling me in an identity theft monitoring program. That would be some heavy irony.