According to the company handbook, dress here is business casual. Of course, as I work here more and more, I find that what actually goes on differs from what is outlined in the company handbook. So we're a t-shirt and jeans place. That's fine with me, I'm a t-shirt and jeans girl. We are required to wear business casual when we have clients touring the company. I suppose I just let out a big company secret there.
Even though I am a t-shirt and jeans girl, I do like to mix it up from time to time. I like to wear outfits that proclaim, "Hey! I'm a girl!" You know, just in case it's not clear from the long hair and birthing hips. And the men at my office just aren't sure what to do with that. Skirts freak them out. I can be wearing the most casual dress in the world, like something you'd wear to the beach over a bathing suit, and they'd ask me what the occasion was or if I had a job interview later.
And they compliment my shoes. I never know what to make of that. Josh says that men are taught to compliment a girl's shoes, because it will make her like them. Is that in the man handbook? It's not such a bad idea, really. You don't want to start praising her body, because that crosses a line. That sends the message that you are interested in seeing more of said body, and what we want is subtlety here. You might could get by with saying she has nice eyes, but that's sort of sappy. And you can only get by with the hair thing when she's had something different done. Otherwise, you're not saying "I like your hair," you're saying "I like your hair everyday." That sort of goes back to the body issue. Anytime you remark upon something of a permanent nature about her, there's a sort of implication that you'd like her in a permanent nature. So we're down to temporary things. Complimenting an outfit is too easy - it's the most noticeable thing on her. But shoes are an accessory, and the fact that a man notices an accessory shows a little more attention to detail, a little more effort. Women like detail, otherwise we wouldn't bother putting so much on. Shoes are easier than jewelry, because a girl may not always be wearing jewelry, except for something like a watch, which doesn't change daily. I definitely would not advise going for the makeup, because most women are not going to be interested in a man who knows enough about makeup to compliment it properly. So, yeah, okay, the shoes are a good call.
But the writer of the man handbook should have clarified on the shoe point. It should be further broken down into a pair of shoe points, one for when you are actually trying to hook up with this girl and another for when you just want to be nice. For one thing, you can always compliment my sneakers. Praise of androgynous shoes is okay. I have a particularly saucy pair of red sneakers, and I'd be amazed if people didn't remark on them. But once is enough. Say, "Hey, that is a particularly saucy pair of red sneakers!" and leave it at that. Don't say something every single time I wear them, and definitely don't praise them more than once in a day. They're not that saucy.
But you have to be very careful when you start complimenting my heels, my lady shoes. Am I the only chick that finds this disturbing? I can't decide if they're secretly thinking about wearing the shoes or wearing me, but either way, I don't like it. Regardless, to me it says, "I recognize that you are female, and there is something about you and your femaleness that I enjoy." And if a man said that outright, you'd be creeped out, right? I have a pair of power heels with very pointy toes. A man at my office complimented them three times in one day. He's a very nice man, and he just may think he's being friendly. Maybe he's thinking that his wife should get a pair, or perhaps he would like to return to the days when women wore heels every day.
I'm being unfair and suspicious. The majority of these men are long-married, and I suspect that they have been trained by their wives to always notice dresses and skirts. Their wives taught them that dresses mean a special effort, and by gum, you had better notice. I'm not sure that their wives meant them to apply it to the twenty-something working at the office, though. And it is possible that some of them do wish women dressed up more, like back before we got all liberated and crap. I've never felt particularly harrassed, but I just get the feeling sometimes that there is some sort of communication breakdown, where a male is trying to be friendly and it comes across as too much to a female long-taught to be wary of the opposite sex. Of course, these same men warn me that all men are after just one thing.
Maybe they're after my shoes.
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